Them Jobs at Google

When applying for a job at Google, you want to present your absolute A-Game. Here's a good example:

Dear Googles (in case more than one read it),

Several years ago, I began my battle with crippling hypochondria. I was sure I had everything, from lupus to AIDS to Feline AIDS. No amount of evidence or rationality could get me to see that I was inventing all of this, and that there was no real reason to think I had any disease at all. It was all in my head.

Or was it?

Type any symptom you might have into the Google search engine, and see what you come up with. Go ahead. Do you have a headache? Maybe a small cut that hasn't healed in two days. Type that in to the Google algorithm and see how many pages you have to go through until you find cancer and meningitis. Spoiler alert: not a lot. It's right there in the beginning. Maybe not the first result, but you get my meaning.

You did this to me, Google. Every day I've spent pacing my house with a thermometer in my mouth, head reeling at the thought of wasting away into the void, alone, in a hospital room that smells like death and regret, that was because you served it to me in a search result.

You did this to me, Google.

Attached, please find my resume and list of references. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Best,

(Your Name)